Write for Self-Love
Hello Dear One,
I hope this finds you well, safe and smiling. If things are tricky, consider it a hug. I love cuddles, big tight ones where you hold on for ages and lean into each other’s hair. One of those, if you need it.
I came home yesterday. Home to my flat in Edinburgh, which I haven’t lived in since December, when I broke down at the prospect of our latest lockdown. I love living alone and know I am incredibly fortunate to be able to. Plus, there were great things which came out of last year. But when the announcement came and I was already at my parents’ I decided it wasn’t the time to put on my brave boots again. I’d re-emerge, I thought, with the flowers in Spring.
So here I am, a little ahead of schedule. This week I’m writing to you about self-love. It was a topic I’d already planned, coinciding with offerings for Sunday, but there’s been something unexpectedly poignant about being back in my own home. This is my first home without a flatmate or partner, the first home I’ve independently owned. And there are lots of things wrong with it - the windows sing in high winds, one radiator is falling off the wall, it doesn’t have much kerb appeal. Still, I love it. The rooms are filled with pieces which reflect my taste, or things people have given me. When I look up and see a painting I bought, the shelves I lugged into the car, or a books I arranged it makes me happy. My home is a reflection of myself: flawed, beautiful, loved.
I know self-love can be a radical concept, that the very term might make you wince. We’re taught to avoid the ‘negative’ selves - (self)ish, (self)-centred, (self)-obsessed - but not associate ourselves with the ‘positive’ ones (self)-honouring, (self)-esteem, (self)-compassion and yes (self)-love. We even actively avoid the latter in case others will decide we think too much of ourselves. Is it possible for you to think too much of yourself?
I loved doing this week’s prompts. I hope they help. My barriers to self-love include old, persistent beliefs, fear of rejection and the worry that I’ll somehow look foolish - be exposed for not being good enough. These are things I’ve worked with for a long time, and they are quieter now, but it’s important to recognise whatever is showing up. Then, you can work with it. If you’d like some guidance and support on that last part, read to the bottom.
A participant in my workshop once said - what if I went around like I loved myself? But what if we didn’t have to pretend? What if we could fully embody ourselves, love all parts of us - even when there are things to work on? Maybe even because there are. Because we are engaged with the process of our own lives. Because we are human.
It’s a big goal, I know that. Try dipping a toe in the water.
Thanks for being here, and being you.
All love,
Jo
SOME NEWS
NOURISH YOUR HEART
This Sunday I’m collaborating with two wonderful women on a self-love retreat, Nourish Your Heart: three hours of writing, art, meditation and movement. Come with a loved one, or on your own. Readers of this letter can receive a fifty percent discount on the regular ticket price, quote ‘Jo’ at checkout.
SINGLE WOMEN WRITE
In the evening, I’m running an uplifting workshop dedicated to helping single women (like me!) enjoy the process of writing and nurture their dreams. If you think you might feel flat on Sunday do come - you can keep your video off, you don’t have to share, but I honestly believe it will help. And if cost is an issue get in touch, I’d still be honoured to support you.