Hello Dear One,
I’ve tried to fix myself in a thousand exhausting ways.
Eating less, dressing how I thought I ‘should’, smiling politely instead of saying what I thought.
I even wrote a poem about it about six years ago which you can read below. (Sidenote - putting out my creative work here makes me feel incredibly nervous, for that reason I know it’s the right thing to do. It’s just a poem).
The thing is I was never broken. I just had the belief I was.
That belief meant I continually tried to contort myself into a shape that wasn’t mine.
We live in a world which encourages us to feel inadequate, particularly at this time of year, but that doesn’t mean we are.
The part that angers me most is this: how often this belief robbed me of creativity and creation. Instead of focusing on what I’d create in a new year, I fell into the trap of ‘becoming better’.
Just yesterday I found myself there again.
It’s been a slow and strange turn of the year and still, I realised I expected to be different: like I should be starting something.
The thing is, I’m already doing it.
I’m already in a healthy body.
I’m already learning and growing.
I’m already living a creative life.
What are you already doing that you don’t give yourself enough credit for?
What if your vision for 2024 didn’t involve changing yourself? What if it meant being more you?
Thanks for being here, and being you.
All love,
Jo
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It may be “just a poem,” but it resonates!
You are very right about this. And your poem is deep !