Hello Dear One,
I’m writing from Lisbon, where I arrived a week ago with my dog Hope to try a new way of life.
I’ve been to many different countries – America, Thailand, China – solo, but it’s been ten years since I’ve embarked a trip like this: a sea and land adventure across six cities in seven days – and the first time I’ve travelled with a dog in a bag under my arm.
One of the reasons I wanted to, after almost a decade of self-development, was to feel the work working, out in the wild.
As a coach one of my favourite moments is seeing my clients break free of restrictive patterns and become embodied in a new way of being. The them that goes to the party, wears the great dress, quits the job, speaks up in a meeting while owning who they are.
And I am here to walk the talk, so let’s talk practical shifts.
Here are five of them:
Stopping doom-scripting
Doom-scripting is telling a story to prepare for the worst. It shows up as statements of fact: It’s going to be awful.
To interrupt it ask: what else is possible?
It’s possible I’ll have a great time. It’s possible the travel will go smoothly. It’s possible that I’ll meet incredible new people.
If you notice yourself in this pattern write them out. The thing I love about the switch is the more you do it the more possibilities surface.
Try it.
Knowing there is no ‘wrong’ decision
There have been so many glorious moments so far, and things I’ve found uncomfortable. Uncomfortable doesn’t mean anything - not that I shouldn’t be here or that I’ve made the ‘wrong decision’ (my former self-judgement go-tos).
When you take away the judgement, especially when it comes to making decisions, you can fully experience exactly where you are at.
Regulating my nervous system
As one of my mentors says you can’t out think how of the body feels.
In new situations, or when the pressure’s on, we often go into a nervous-system response: fight/flight/freeze/appease.
To shift it breathe, shake, laugh, give yourself a hug.
Bring yourself back into the body and unlock the present moment.
Welcoming all emotions
I used to have a story that I ‘had to’ feel happy because I was travelling but you know what there will always be more than one feeling.
Welcome frustration, fear, disappointment, joy, sorrow.
It’s all part of it.
Whenever I teach of write about this I always think of this Rumi poem.
Making your self-compassion on point
Honestly, I love myself more when things aren’t working the way I want them to.
I won’t abandon myself and it’s so beautiful.
This is the work: being with yourself in the hard parts, the shadows, the places you didn’t want to go.
Notice when you go to judgement and make a different choice.
So my love, go after your dreams.
You are more capable than you think you are; you can handle the curveballs.
Thanks for being here and being you, I’d love to know what resonates.
All love,
Jo
COACHING WITH ME
I have two spaces for women on my six month one-to-one coaching programme, designed to take you from feeling stuck in self-criticism to living the life you want.
If you’re ready for real change I’ve got you.
Best wishes. I hope the weather is OK for you. Making this move in summer might have been you bravest decision 😉